Jscrabbler Koh
Sunday, October 14, 2007
「 sunset on 7:34 AM 」
okay was clare's birthday today had a ball of a time playin snap and heart attack and what not well its was also a good time to keep my mind off things. What have i done? i dunno i guess i will just have to look 3 yrs back what i did changed my life.......... after alll what could be a worse side effect right? what is wrong with me i dun believe it maybe i didn't forget maybe everything in between was but a distraction doesn't help that i am in CJ perhaps JC was a wrong choice if i could change time i would i need some form of closure something i have been searching for 3 yrs maybe it was wishful thinking ...well probably was maybe it was just a mistake a mistake to learn and gain wisdom the price of wisdom is this the price to pay? Losing my self confidence my mind even? was it worth it did i gain anything?

what if i didn't do it what if it was erased would it have been different? maybe....emo music doesn't help writing this post probably didn't help either what then will? a miracle pill?...some people inflict pain on themselves other drink smoke and do all sorts of things to make themselves feel better.....too many things have been happening around me too many similar situations doesn't help huh what then will we need a miracle panadol for this people this whole emo world is going no where so what if you succeed in life so what if you get good grades in life I no longer feel young anymore everything i wanted to do when i still am a teenager i have not done......you reading this probably think what is this loser talking about?well yeah maybe i am a loser but well maybe thats why i have become a nerd

studying has kept my mind away from thinking about stuff and it works well other than for the times of crying at night who said real men don't cry maybe they were right? but well i dare admit i do cry thinking bout my life thinking about how sorry i feel for myself well fine maybe i am a wuss but i have grown numb to these comments primrary school was full of them there this is the post where i have said everything i always wanted to talk about this post could be my last post too....well there my sad life

here i am again sitting in the rain wanting to be free just say the word and set me free